My father has passed on and is thankfully no longer suffering. After months of fighting his body has finally surrendered and let him go in peace. He didn’t pass along alone, he had a room full of people who loved him and in his lifetime he knew love and gave love. My heart is sad but also relieved, because he will no longer know pain.

I have a mind full of memories of this great man, who met me at 8 months old and fell in love. I was daddy’s girl always and forever from the moment he met me. He never treated me as a step daughter, but like his real daughter, not many kids can say that. The day he adopted me was truly one of my most precious memories. I was blessed with almost 27 years of his love, many do not get the chance to know their parents, so I can not be angry that he is gone already. I will have a lifetime to share my memories and let me tell you I have memories of Wild Bill, aka Papa ACE.

…

I got a call at work saying his heart was starting to go, the entire 40 minutes ride I just kept begging him to hold on until I got home. I walked in the door and they told me he’s still fighting; everything stopped for 3 minutes and then he started up again… My father was a real tough SOB. I got to thank my father for holding on until I got home and said that he gave me the best gift ever for me the chance to say goodbye. I held my fathers hand up until the end, gave him a kiss, said I loved him and let him go. The world is truly a little less brighter without this truly unique individual.

The last conversation I had with my father was on Monday morning, even though he wasn’t completely there he was in some way.

Our last words…
Dad: “You’re a crazy bitch.”

Me: “Yeah, but I love you.”

Dad: “I love you too, but you’re a fucking crazy bitch.”

Anyone who knows my dad, knows this is him. I remembered this towards the end and it brought laughter from my heart. I at least got to hear my dad be somewhat of him old self and I got the chance to hear him say he loved me.

“Farewell” from ‘The Prophet’ by Kahlil Gibran.

Farewell to you and the youth I have spent with you.

It was but yesterday we met in a dream.

You have sung to me in my aloneness, and I of your longings have built a tower in the sky.

But now our sleep has fled and our dream is over, and it is no longer dawn.

The noontide is upon us and our half waking has turned to fuller day, and we must part.

If the twilight of memory we should meet once more, we shall speak again together and you shall sing to me a deeper song.

And if our hands should meet in another dream we shall build another tower in the sky.

In memory of Charles B. Edgell

April 7, 1945 to February 17, 2010

Always,

Amanda

2 years ago · 51 notes