I just want you to know that, no matter what happens, I am never having sex again.

1. Wanderlust and social alcoholism, I can’t think of any other conditions as awesome as mine, too bad I’m below the poverty line and can’t afford to hop in my car and drive all over the country to have girls nights with some of my other bitches. I’m kind of bummed I’m not gonna be in Canada being the trainwreck this weekend, but fuck yeah one tank road trip later today though.

2. Things that are making me stabby: being ousted as Mayor of my gym on Foursquare (STFU!) and all three seasons of my Veronica Mars being missing. First, the fuckhole who ousted me doesn’t even go to the gym, because hello I was there the same time as him for two days and NO HE WASN’T! He stole my title of GIRL WHO HAS NO LIFE OUTSIDE OF WORK AND GYM and I want it back! Second, seriously the fact that I have to rebuy something because my worthless siblings probably pawned it pisses me off. I guess I will watch Party of Five and wonder why I use to be attracted to Scott Wolf.

3. There’s a hot ginger at my gym now (I KNOW, MIRACLE!) and I want to protect my ginger vagina and bump uglies with him, you know so we won’t produce extreme mini ginger assholes. No worries, I’m still full on lust after PGG even though I haven’t seen him for weeks, but muscular, tattooed ginger is to nice to overlook.

4. I think Lisa and I have role reversed because now I find myself getting bored and annoyed super fast, I’m fickle now. Also totally random but, I’m the Mary and she’s the Rhoda. 

5. I want a white ink tattoo really bad and I fought the urge to go downtown this week and do it. I guess I can always show off my stretch marks and tell people they are white ink tattoos. I’m totally gonna do this if a dude ever tries to see me naked without the lights off. Yeah, like this will ever happen again, but cool story.

44 Notes/ Hide

  1. michiganbell said: Are Gingers good for breeding?
  2. pvaras said: Dude, you are fucking awesome.
  3. rsmallbone said: You should start planning now to come to Toronto next year. With your hot ginger boy toy, or whatever.
  4. pocketcontents said: I’m still Mayor of the dump. The key to being Mayor is to set the bar really fucking low.
  5. roothakers said: we don’t talk about gingers here!!!
  6. edgellace posted this