Tales of a Horny Insomniac

I’ve been awake for about an hour, I awoke after yet another dream. I haven’t been having nightmares, more like disturbing dreams from my past with specific people/events or dreams that seems set in the future, because they clearly haven’t happened in real life, but seem realistic. These dreams have the power to make me incredibly sad or super pissed.

Saturday mornings dream still has me boiling, I just want to punch someone right in the face. I woke up extremely angry, even shaking from said anger with my fists clenched tight. That dream put me in a foul mood, I’ve been trying to shake it, but haven’t had the best of luck. Maybe writing it here rather than in an email asking for a dream interpretation will work. (STM: Thanks for hearing my batshit and trying to help decode my twisted brains message.)

I want to believe that my brain is an even bigger asshole than I am, because of these dreams. (Seriously, I don’t even know if that’s possible to be an even bigger asshole.) They involve people I haven’t gave two shits about for a long time, but when I fall asleep the subconscious wants me to see or hear them so I’m aware of them. I don’t fucking want to be aware of them, because they are insignificant to me. The other dreams are dad related and I’m not stupid, I know this time of year is triggering it, but the dreams are creepy. I’ve been reliving him in his casket a lot. If it’s not him in a casket I see him standing near me during dreams involving other people listening in and reaching towards me. I’ll see his mouth move, but I can never hear the words coming out. It’s like he’s offering me advice in a situation, but I’m not able to receive it, probably because he isn’t really there.

So there is my newest crazy, I’ve shown a lot of my crazy here before, but I like expanding your horizons. The dreams makes me want to grab my vodka, but then I realize I only drink at social outings now, so my liver is the only lucky one in this situation.