Tales of a Horny Insomniac

Canceling my weekend plans was probably the smartest thing I have done in a long time. I missed my fat pants, Netflix and being unsocial a lot apparently.

Rather then stay in bed today I went and got my dad reincarnated, the niece, and have been spending the day with her ignoring messages from dudes and not caring that I don’t have my face on.

I’m off to paint nails with the best form of birth control available, who currently sounds like she has the drunk hiccups. (I have gave her no Schnapps this visit!) Then I’m gonna savor today since I’m not doing that girl over thinking thing, besides I’ll be doing that enough next week.

Dear Insomnia, Blow Me

I didn’t fall asleep until around 530am and had to wake at 7am to work an eleven hour day.

I have only had a large coffee with a turbo shot and an Ultra Monster today and I feel as if I’m going to pass out any moment from exhaustion. Tonight’s Pure Cardio for Insanity is going to be very interesting.

Seriously, my lady time is affecting everything very differently then it use too.

Kiss It A Little More, Baby

Two weeks ago I was expendable according to my Divisional, but after last weeks visit from her boss, my Regional, that isn’t the case anymore.

I just received a nervous phone call from her informing me that she heard that I had a new job I’m starting on Monday and wasn’t planning on giving a notice. (I fucking wish.) I informed her that isn’t true and I just made the schedule out for next week, and even scheduled myself for Monday, so her source is unreliable. (I think her source is the new girl who just came to my location from training on Friday.) She then proceeded to drill me about if I had any upcoming interviews, no. (Again, I fucking wish.) After seeing where this was going I said the only plans I have for this coming Monday is a date after work and the following Monday I have a placement exam since I’m considering going back to school. She breathed a sigh of relief and then said, I’m so glad to hear this because I have plans for you. Seriously, two weeks ago I was getting treated like shit, now you have plans for me?

I love how the Regional basically has her kissing my ass it seems right now. Two weeks ago the fact that since I transferred this locations results have almost doubled in what they were failing. Coincidence? No, I fucking do my job even if I don’t like it. Keep kissing is all I think.

Oh and I was having a conversation with the manager at AdultMart about hiring me for one day a week so I could get a discount. She told me to stop by, I have the personality she looks for. I’m going places dammit.

Mood Changed, Punch Me in the Face

So, I have a third date with dude I really like on Monday…

Sehkurity

My hormones are getting way worse it seems each month. I’m bipolar as all get out right now, I either want to stab jugulars or go cry in a corner today and I absolutely loathe crying.

I woke up at 530am glaring at my ceiling. Today I’ve canceled all my weekend dates and have planned a nice get your fucking shit together Amanda weekend. I was talking to Jessica the other day and she pointed out that my normal February funk is still here, but is getting worse rather than better. So yeah, I need to figure some shit out.

Self pity… Check
Self hate… Check
Confusion… Check
Bloat… Check
Rage… Check
Cray Cray… Motherfucking check exceeded to infinity and beyond.

Fuck It All / Boobs

I’m taking back my bitch power card, I fucking own it and it doesn’t make me feel cray cray.

Indifference is all about choice and I choose to have it. Helps that I’m fucking stubborn too.

My boobs still have a puddle of sweat in them from Insanity tonight. I also did a full gym workout tonight, so I might not wake up in the morning to care about anything anyways.

View Separately

It would make life so much simpler…

Truthful Tuesday

I clearly turn into a girl when I’m actually interested in someone, which blows, because girl brains are assholes.

The dude I legit like has confidence issues. Why? I have no fucking clue, seriously boggled my mind after the first time I met him and even more so the last. It wasn’t a secret that he has issues making a move and is why I asked him if he was down to hang last week. I’d assume, which I fucking HATE when people do this about me and irritates me that I’m doing it right now, that after the date, which went very well, and me actually telling him that I liked him would be enough to show him he has no fears, and can be confident enough to know that all he needs to do is ask me out again; I put the ball in his court.

Now, I wonder if his issues are something that can be wiped away so easily from just stating he doesn’t need to worry when it comes to me. Would my radio silence make him think I don’t care whether or not we meet again? Should I drop him a simple hello every few days to start conversation or would this make me appear desperate and needy? I don’t know what to do. I just don’t want him to think I’m not interested, because that really isn’t the case. I also don’t want to play games.

Girl brains are the worst.

View Separately

No sleep… Check

No makeup… Check

No curls… Check

All the derp… Check

Friction burn on the chin… Check

Use of front facing camera… Motherfucking Check!

230 AM

My date just got pulled over with me in the passenger seat looking like a crack whore.

So much win tonight.

Goddamn, I have a fucking crush.

Take this quarter, go downtown, and have a rat gnaw that thing off your face!

Short work weeks are suppose to be the tits, this has not been the the case for me. Related: LONGEST WEEK EVER!

Today I was graced with my Area, Divisional and Regional Managers. All the high and mighty decided to grace me while I rocked the fuck out of trainwreck skank look, totes didn’t care. This was my first time meeting the Regional and he looks like a cocky douche, but cocky douche passed the word down about how he liked me and how fucking impressed he was with me. When my Area Manager informed me of the impression I left on him I simply said, BOOYA! The dude with all the power likes me, so everyone else can kiss off. Also, this fact alone will make me feel even better when I eventually put my notice in, someday soon I hope.

I met Jami’s youngest, Piper, on Wednesday. Little shit is even more adorable in person. I don’t know why kids like me, I’m an asshole. I wonder if she is calling Joe the nickname I was trying to teach her…

Remember that dude I went out with two weeks ago that shocked me and wasn’t a flake, but was really kind of awesome? Well, I totally asked him if he’d like to get drinks tomorrow night with me. Dude said yes, not even a minute after receiving my text and considering how I snorted (GODDAMN I’M A SEXY BITCH!) in front of him a few times during our first meeting I’m taking this as another good sign.