May 2013
15 posts
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If Stress Burned Calories, I Wouldn't Need To Do...
You know that awful fucking cliche saying, be careful what you wish for? Well, I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been bit in the ass for thinking something was going to be better because the change I wished for happened some way or another. Seriously, I think I’m on a constant misery cycle or rinse and repeat.
Newest case in point: I finally break free of twat boss and get a...
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Think Positive, Amanda
So, Date 1, Tim, messaged me last night telling me had a good time and was joking with me. Then this morning I went to my dating app to read a message and saw where he had visited my profile at like 7am, I’m gonna go all girl and believe he woke up thinking about me.
He totally woke up thinking about me, right?
Options, Always
I’m on my way to my second date for today, I’m an official player now.
I liked the first, a lot. We shall see, I know my luck in this department though, so that is why I’m second date bound. I deal with possible headcase shit so healthy.
I might be ending up at Melissa’s after this since I’ll be so close, so three dates in one day makes me a hot commodity or just...
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Current Status
Booze.
An amazing burger with BBQ Mac n’Cheese topping.
Bitches.
Awful karaoke in the background. Bitch is trying to be the trainwreck Amy Winehouse, I can’t even.
Also, I needed this after another day when I fought the urge to say fuck it all.
Missing someone to pay my tab and sex. Maybe tomorrow night…
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TT 2
Sometimes I feel like an escort when an out of town dude is here for business or family and messages me, because they want to go out and have fun while they are in town. (Apparently my profile screams I’m a fun girl.)
Perks of these dudes include the usual drinks, dinner, and not being at home in my fat pants alone nose glued to Tumblr or Netflix. But, I also don’t have to worry about them...
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Truthful Tuesday
I’m about to go all deep and ambiguous, just how Tumblr likes it.
I just did something that currently makes me feel like a complete failure at life. Now, I’m on my way home to work on something to hopefully ensure that I won’t always feel like I’m failing at life. If this happens I might actually do something with my life for once.
Life is about balance, right?
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This Week Can Get Bent
I need the juju fairies to shit their rainbow glitter luck all over me for once.
Just for fucking once.
I need a change so bad. I need to get out of my current situation before I do something really stupid, like run my mouth and get fired. I love my new manager, but I absolutely hate my new clients and direction my already shady company is heading.
Someone find me a job please.
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Sunday Seven
1. The pollen is killing me right now. Seriously, it has my allergies to the level of horrible that I have an earache as well as affecting my upper and lower jaw on the same side since Thursday. It’s like a toothache for that entire side of my face, brutal and tear inducing on Friday. Pain pills and me are becoming one with each other, although I had to eat a shitty McDonald’s...
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April 2013
35 posts
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And...
I was just propositioned by a married couple to screw the husband while the wife watches.
I am getting some awesome stories to add to my growing list of unbelieveable shit that has happened to me for my geriatric years.
I’d rather have this interesting and weird shit happen than a boring mundane life, even if I won’t be doing this. (Okay, maybe if he agrees to lights off Spanx on I...
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Truthful Tuesday
I don’t follow enough trainwrecks here and that is kind of sad, but I can’t keep up with the current ones to justify adding more. But I fully enjoy random texts informing of peoples behaviours.
Sometimes I forget that I have peoples phone numbers in my phone, I seem to talk to the same people over and over. I’ve sent askboxes to people who are in my phone when I could have just sent a text. I...
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Truthful Tuesday
I came to work this morning looking like a cheap crack whore and as the hours pass the more I’m okay with this decision.
I had someone ask me if I’d trample him today. My response, Is this because I’m a fatty? Apparently not, just his fetish. Sorry bro, maybe a golden shower but not this, freak show.
I’m off the vaahkaa again for a bit. Day one was okay, but today I have the shakes and...
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2324
My friends are assholes and that’s why they’re my friends.
I’m in a fight with Matt. Unfollow. Block.
When I went to the famous CVS Thursday night to buy my vaahkaa my main goal was to get myself so fucked up I’d forget what was bothering me, totally worked that night.
I refuse to let what I’m feeling show when drinking. I internalize that shit and wait for depression to hit when I get my...
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Face Value
I will never apologize for being an asshole, it’s part of my charm.
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I Don't Want To Talk About It
This day can suck it, seriously.
I have to think the worst case scenario to prepare myself if it happens. I really can’t afford for it to happen though and my stomach is more upset then it was for that stupid date last week.
I will not cry.
I might puke though.
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My Inner Repressed Girl Is Showing
So, I have been crushing on a dude. Yes, you read that right, me of all people has a crush.
The dude, currently called Army to my bitches, and I have been talking for a couple weeks. In this time he hasn’t bored me, annoyed me or pissed me off which is a huge thing and almost a fucking miracle. He actually had me intrigued and interested to the point that when he would message and I’d see his...
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Nothing But The Truths Tuesday
I’ve been packing for Chicago for like 3 hours now and I’m still not done. I hate everything I own, I’d go naked, but no one wants to see that jelly, trust me. I’ve got several pairs of ridiculous shoes packed though.
I get to spend tomorrow night with my Ohio peeps and this makes me happy.
Last night I was lying beside Licker and totally wishing it was someone else,...
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I Don't Know Why I Was Trippin'
Indifference is back.
I have no fucking clue how Lisa survives day to day after the last few days, she seriously needs a lot of therapy. (Love ya whore!)
I will elaborate later, probably.
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I smell a potential sexual harassment against my new area manager.
Dude just met me and has been inappropriate already. I know what inappropriate is because I’m inappropriate all day errday.
Too bad he wasn’t hot or I could have fun. Instead I’ll let him be a pervy dude until I get too creeped out.
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Things That Have Been Said To Me In The Last Week
I’m looking for a travel companion with FWB, I’ll pay for all expenses.
I’m a small successful business owner and I want to spoil you and be your sugar daddy.
You can screw other guys if you’re going out with me and I won’t mind, actually I think that’s hot.
I’ll be set when I can retire from the Army in another 13 years, so I can go on adventures. I need an adventure buddy, you up for the...
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I'M SEEING THE NATIONAL AGAIN IN JUNE!
I’M SEEING THE NATIONAL AGAIN IN JUNE!
WITH MY BITCHES!
I HAVE ALL THE EXCITE!
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Take My Girl Away
I have the hardest time letting people go and it use to never be like this for me. I am the girl who cut off all ties with her high school friends after a goodbye party and never looked back. Its nothing for me to cut assholes or people who are negative to my well being out, but that wasn’t the case with high school friends I was just ready to move on from the people I grew up with. I don’t even...
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That Thing, That Thing, That Thing
Where you have a ridiculous amount of hope towards something, but deep down you know that it’s too good to be true or if you look at your general luck you know how it will end. Yet, you can’t wipe the smile that keeps appearing on your face away.
Stupid fantasies ruin everything, so I’m gonna need a swift kick back into what my reality actually is.
I also need someone to find my Lauren Hill...
